


What's bothering Lupin?

by TwigstheShifter



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Gen, shitpost, the boys being dumb, this is just a real quick drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22429360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwigstheShifter/pseuds/TwigstheShifter
Summary: Inspector Zenigata has finally caught Lupin, though the thief has a burning question that's keeping him up at night.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	What's bothering Lupin?

Finally! Finally! He got him! Zenigata was fit to burst, he was so ecstatic that he’d caught Lupin for good this time. Well maybe that was jumping the gun, considering that the thief was only in the back of this transport car, but he was sitting across from him with eyes trained on him like a hawk so he could be a little cocky. Zenigata sat back in satisfaction, watching Lupin think very hard. Probably coming up with a scheme to get out, but little did he know he was in a metal box within an armored truck! There was no GPS to fiddle with, there were no weaknesses in the plating, the air holes in the box were scarcely big enough to fit a pipe cleaner through. Hell, they welded the box shut once they got both of them in there! Zenigata smirked.

“It’s no use Lupin, might as well enjoy the ride.”

“You know Pops, I really wish I could, but there’s something that’s been bugging me.” Lupin cocked his head to the side in thought, staring at the ground.

Zenigata immediately lost his smirk, here we go, the man was probably trying to trick him, “Oh really? Is it that you’re a dirty criminal?”

“No, no, it’s not that.” he looked up, “It’s just...oh nevermind you’re gonna think this is stupid.”

Dammit. He knew just how to pique the inspector’s interest.

“I don’t think you’re stupid.”

Lupin smiled, “Well I was watching this movie...do you know about How to Train Your Dragon?”

“I saw the first one, but I never got around to watching the rest.” Pops shrugged, “Though I did really like it.”

“Do you care about spoilers?”

____

“That’s so stupid!” Zenigata threw his arms up (as much as he could in the box) out of frustration, “That’s a stupid way to end the movie! It just makes people want more!”

“I know right?” Lupin bounced his head, and would’ve gestured with his hands if he weren’t tied up, “But anyways, what bothers me is that Toothless was able to breed with the light fury. They’re two different species, that makes no sense.”

“Well no, things from two different species can interbreed, look at ligers. They’re half lion half tiger.”

“Those are man-made hybrids, the night lights aren’t!” Lupin frowned, “Besides, cats are so close together that it’s easy. These are reptiles.”

“I think Light Furies are supposed to be subspecies, so in theory, they should be able to have babies.”

“Yes but see that’s theory.”

“Well not exactly, they show them in the movie.”

“We’re not talking about inside the movie!”

“Oh so we’re talking about real life dragons then?”

“No!” Lupin stomped his foot and wiggled in his bonds, “We’re talking about outside of the canon of the movie, we’re talking about species theory.”

“I’m not a biologist but-”

“They just wanted Toothless to fuck!”

“Hey!” Zenigata barked, “Watch your language!”

“Fuck you, fuck dreamworks, fuck How to Train Your Dragon, and fuck their stupid heteronormative bullshit!”

“It’s not heteronormative, it’s just how things work. You’re just getting pissy because they didn’t make her a night fury.”

“Night Furies are cool! They’re not all weird smooth like the Light Furies and a bright white predator doesn’t even make sense in a non-polar climate.”

“Hold on.” Zenigata held out his hands, “I’m gonna google this.”

“You do that.” Lupin pouted as he shrugged off the last coil of rope off.

Zenigata screwed up his face as he read, he barely knew how these smart phone things worked, but eventually he got to the wikipedia page for Light Furies. Lupin continued to ramble on about dragons as he searched, but he really wasn’t paying attention to what the other was saying. He needed to prove he was right now.

“It says she’s a marine predator, so that’s why she isn’t smooth, and she has invisibility powers so that explains away the bright white coloring.” Zenigata jerked up his head proud that he’d won this round, “HA-huh?”

“Still doesn’t make her able to breed with Toothless!” Lupin growled as he tugged on the end of a rope that was dropped through a freshly cut hole in the box and roof, “Though we’re gonna have to revisit this later, I’ve got a date.”

Pops sprang forward, but it was no use, the thief had already been yanked up and out of the box. The old man’s face collided with the side, and knocked the thing over. Scrambling, he jut his head out of the hole with barely enough time to see Lupin and Goemon jumping off the roof of the truck, the roar of the fiat’s accelerator telling him they were already gone.

“Damn you Lupin!”


End file.
